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Destroy one fear, Change your life

15 February 2016 by Anne Riches Leave a Comment

spider on white table. macro view.

Scared of spiders? Performance reviews? Speaking in public?

Love this post by Shawn Hunter: Destroy one fear, Change your life.

It suggests that if you can conquer one fear, you can develop a mindset that will help you with others and change your life.

Worth a read even if simply for the reinforcement that it is possible.

Filed Under: Amygdala and The Almond Effect Tagged With: amygdala, change, emotions, fear

Look at me when I’m talking to you

1 February 2016 by Anne Riches Leave a Comment

Talking one ignoring shutterstock_267892346

When I was growing up and my mother wanted to “point out the error of my ways”, I remember that she often prefaced her no doubt well-intentioned words of advice with: “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Depending on how much I wanted to hear her “words of wisdom”, especially if I disagreed with her or was embarrassed because I had been caught out in some way, I must have often looked away because the other phrase I remember was: “Don’t you turn away when I’m speaking to you!”

Why is it that, in our culture at least, we want people to look at us when we are making a point? When I am presenting at a meeting, conference or a workshop, I know that my amygdalae, our ‘fear factory’, are quick to generate a feeling of concern that I may have lost someone’s interest if I see them looking out the window, staring at their fingernails or into space.

But is there another explanation? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Amygdala and The Almond Effect, Articles Tagged With: amygdala, brain, emotions, leadership

Less than 1/10th second to trust or not

19 January 2016 by Anne Riches Leave a Comment

No!

Do you make snap judgments? Do you jump to conclusions?

When you’re at a party, a bar, deciding where to sit on a bus, serving a customer, interviewing someone, meeting your new boss, meeting staff as their new boss, watching new neighbours move in – how long does it takes you to ‘sum someone up’? What if you see the face of an alleged criminal on the television? And how long does it take when you meet your daughter’s new boyfriend or your boyfriend’s new girl? Two minutes? Ten minutes? Think again.

I am sure you would say you make a considered decision and don’t rush to conclusions. You might say: ‘I always give someone the benefit of the doubt’. But we all know it doesn’t work like that – and the science appears to back up what really happens.

What the science says

According to some research published in the Journal of Psychological Science by Professor Alex Todorov of Princeton University, it takes us less than 1/10th of a second to decide if we trust someone or not. We respond intuitively to faces so rapidly that our reasoning minds may not have time to influence our reaction. And our intuitions about attraction and trust are among those we form the fastest.

“The link between facial features and character may be tenuous at best, but that doesn’t stop our minds from sizing other people up at a glance,” says Todorov, “We decide very quickly whether a person possesses many of the traits we feel are important, such as likeability and competence, even though we have not exchanged a single word with them. It appears that we are hard-wired to draw these inferences in a fast, unreflective way.”

Trustworthiness and fear are connected

Why does this happen? Can we change our reaction? [Read more…]

Filed Under: Amygdala and The Almond Effect, Articles, Emotional Intelligence in Change Tagged With: amygdala, control, decisions, emotions, empathy, leadership, science, The Almond Effect

Do you sabotage yourself at work?

16 November 2015 by Anne Riches Leave a Comment

I want to share the story of Tracy. Tracy landed her dream job working for a start up company. She was to be part of a team to launch a new and exciting product. Although apprehensive, Tracey couldn’t wait to start. She was the most junior in the team of five but she specialized in an area in which the others were limited. Life was looking good.

Almost as soon as she started, Tracy felt intimidated by the others in the group. They were all experienced and talented. Sensibly, Tracy made a conscious decision to just put her head down and work to the best of her ability.

However, almost from the start, she had trouble accepting feedback and guidance from her team leader. Even the smallest piece of advice or direction made her feel angry and insecure. In fact, she had a number of quite emotional altercations with her team leader. Not so sensibly, after each one, she sent an email to another team member complaining about the team leader.
[Read more…]

Filed Under: Amygdala and The Almond Effect, Articles Tagged With: emotions, EQ, fear, The Almond Effect

I think I am a good listener – but am I wrong?

28 September 2015 by Anne Riches Leave a Comment

 

Girl doubt shutterstock_196305239An insightful piece on empathy.

Do you think you are a good listener?  This article made me think about whether I really am – and to check it out with some people. A good reminder for all of us to check our empathy skills – they may need some honing!

How to be a better listener

Filed Under: Emotional Intelligence in Change Tagged With: emotions, empathy, leadership

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Anne, thank you for your wonderful contribution towards the above mentioned conference.

Your ability to deliver a Workshop that clearly appealed to our conference delegates indicates that you took the time to research our industry and that in itself made the presentation so much more relevant and appealing to the audience.

Again, thank you for your contribution to what has turned out to be a most successful conference event and we look forward to the opportunity of working together again in the future.
– Head of Conferences & Events, Travelscene American Express

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Latest from the Blog

Destroy one fear, Change your life

15 February 2016

Scared of spiders? Performance reviews? Speaking in public? Love this post by Shawn Hunter: Destroy one fear, Change your life. It suggests that if you can conquer one fear, you can develop

Do you stress eat?

9 February 2016

I like this TED talk on breaking a bad habit. It has a practical approach that I think could help.  

Look at me when I’m talking to you

1 February 2016

When I was growing up and my mother wanted to "point out the error of my ways", I remember that she often prefaced her no doubt well-intentioned words of advice with: "Look at me when I'm talking to

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Her lecture was very much on the personal, whether in the management line or employee. This too is refreshing again, I think a lot of literature talks about ‘management’ in a unitarist way – operating as part of the machinery. This from my experience is most definitely not the case in any level of management.
– Audience members at Guest Lecture, Human Resource Strategies, University of Sydney

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